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PRE-SEASON
Jane Hovland
Contributing Editor for The Master Skier
Jane Hovland is a registered nurse and licensed psychologist - ideal characteristics for a Master Groupie. In her other life, she is an Associate Professor of Behavioral Sciences at the University of Minnesota Medical School, Duluth.
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George Hovland, 1952 Olympian, still in training.
Jane admires her only award, her beer can trophy.
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Master Skiers are among the best-conditioned master athletes. They have developed life-long exercise patterns that help promote physical and emotional health. But have you ever wondered how some Master Skiers are able to pursue hours of training, miles on the road for competition and the satisfaction of being recognized? Behind many a Master Skier is a Master Groupie, and many of the latter have the trophies to prove it.
Since 1980, I have lived happily with my Master Skier. My first exposure to the "thrill of competition " was watching my Special One gulp Sue Bee honey from a 2- pound jar just prior to the start of an American Birkebiener.
The sight of a seriously nervous, experienced competitor trying to swallow globs of the "magic potion du jour " brings tears to my eyes and concern about whether our host-family ever got the sticky stuff out of their rec room carpet.
We Master Groupies make mad dashes to parking lots for lost equipment (imagine not taking your boots to a race), learn to repair broken equipment (a paper clip and a little dental floss really can hold a binding together), and, by association, have all of the prerace jitters that many of the racers have.
We have prepared "secret " concoctions of waxes, magic juices for energy, and helped nervous grown-ups get into race gear. We carry many necessities for our Master Skiers and have stood outside of port-a-potties holding poles and skis while our Skier answers a last minute call of nature.
We are the ones who stand with frozen feet waiting for a brief glimpse on a trail or for a chance to yell "Go Baby Go " at someone who never really heard us say it.
We listen to the interminable after-race discussions, and tolerate people whose only interests in life seem center on wax, race-preparation and equipment.
I have been a substitute groupie for friends whose spouses were competitors rather than groupies.
For example, one year I helped a well-known mother of 11 tape caffeine tablets to her race bib for use at rest stops during a ski marathon.
Her bib was speckled with nubbins of masking tape, half of which fell off in the cold (thankfully) and the others that she crunched while skiing.
The caffeine kicked in about three hours after the race, she was wired for hours, and learned not to be so faddish in her race preparation.
I have held coats and jackets for other finishers, found lost family members, and relayed messages to racers about where to meet their own special groupies.
I have been lucky enough to know my fellow groupies, some of whom have spent more time supporting their Master Skier than a soccer mom with three kids.
Many Master Skiers ski in multiple disciplines. At one time, mine had competed (and won) too often in NASTAR so couldn't attend the national competitions until he moved to a new age group, ten years beyond.
In the interim, SuperNASTAR was born, and we were off and running to alpine races.
After countless phone calls to obtain a good race position at a regional resort, and sartorial discussions about coefficients of drag, my Master Skier could be heard hollering loudly for my assistance 30 seconds prior to his start.
I found him at the starting gate with a sweat shirt tied around his waist, and when he bent over and lifted the flap, his sleek, slippery race pants (which had been tailored to his physique) were split from stem to gudgeon - so went the good race position, the fancy pants, the miles of driving and a chance at ski-glory.
Let's talk about race awards. I am certain there are fine Master Groupies who welcome the "hardware " into their households. AMaster Groupie needs to take a stand, and this is where many of us do.
There is no way that a bookshelf full of metal/wood/plastic skiers on pedestals fits in most decorating schemes, even if your style is vintage early garage sale.
These awards do not work in a bedroom, dining room or living room.
My Master Skier has to be satisfied with awards decorating his office, but there is still the problem of the souvenir bibs, bags, medals and trinkets that proliferate at many races.
Sometimes I am surprised at finding these in our coat closet, stuffed under a car seat, or draped on a bathroom doorknob. We recently moved down the block and "accidentally" left behind a few boxes of trophies that are now being delivered to us in dribbles and drabs.
Somehow it is impossible to throw these things out, so they are starting to collect in our furnace room and garage. There is no rotation system for trophies and the ones I took to Goodwill were politely declined. This is not the definition of "trophy wife " I had in mind.
Then there are the magazines and clippings. My Master Skier likes to save articles about races and friends who have made notable accomplishments. This requires files and a filing system, as well as file cabinets.
Currently, half of his office is filled with clippings and memorabilia. It is not unusual for him to send a copy of a 1970 ski article to a friend, and when he does, I say a prayer to Heloise, the patron saint of homemakers.
Some of my Master Skier's friends respond in kind, so we frequently receive the detritus of others.
John Burton, who skied with my Master Skier on an Olympic team recently was kind enough to send an article he had saved from a 1950's ski publication about "What to do with ski memorabilia."
[Thanks, John, I now know what you do with yours; you send them to the King of Memorabilia and Ski Trivia who just happens to live at my address.] John's late wife Jeanette was one of the finest Master Groupies I knew, and I suspect she might have cheered a little bit about John parting with a treasure such as this.
Am I complaining? I don't think so. I am suggesting that Master Skiers take time to look more broadly at their accomplishments.
While you have skied the race, there are others who are critical to your success; and although we may seem a little jaded at times, we still take pleasure and pride in what you do. However, if I might make one request: Recycle the clippings and leave the trophies, bibs, and medals at the race or convince Goodwill to change its policy.
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